This Is It

Let's go back to approx 12:30 pm today when I was at the eye doctor for my 2 year exam. I was bumped back two seats because when they tell you your appt. is at 12:30 at America's Best Eyeglasses and Contacts what they really mean is its first come first serve. So you could really show your blind tuckus up at anytime and have the same amount of wait. I was told that I am supposed to show up 20 mins early to do paper work. UH? You guys?! Paper work included my address and phone number. That is all. I guess if I had REALLY bad eyesight and had not yet seen an eye doctor ever, filling out the paper could have taken a few. But COME ON!
At 1:30 I am called into the room by a women who clearly hates her life. Her life as a sloth. Very much not in a hurry. Which is a great way to be, I am sure. I sit. She tells me to put my face against the bar, chin on the rest and look at the dot. Then, she shoots me in the eye with a "poof" of air. No warning. Just a "poof". They call it a "poof" which is a LIE. Its more like an empty nail gun is shot right in your face. Only in your eye! And I have had this done before but usually they tell you its coming. So the shooting me in the face with poofs takes a while because I keep blinking and the lady is getting SO MAD. You guys, she seriously hated my face!

Eye Lady: You know its really hard to get a reading with you blinking.

Me: Don't most people blink when things are shot into their eyeballs? 

Eye Lady: Well those people hold open their eyelids. 

Me: Oh! Why didn't you say so? 

Meanwhile I try to hold open my eyeball and it literally spazzes out. I have not experienced anything like it. Nor anything like this appt. I am simultaneously annoyed and amused. I wish you guys ALL could have been there.

Eye Lady: You are just making it worse. If I could just get one eye, that will have to work.

(poof)
(poof)
(blink)
(blink)

and then she says... and I am not kidding. She says to me:

"You know this is really harder on me than it is on you cause I have to focus on the dot the whole time!" 

Oh I am sorry. I didn't realize focusing on the dot without "poofs" is more difficult than focusing on the dot and being poofed. I feel bad. Here can I poof you? How can I make this easier for you?

This may come across as a really grouchy blog but I cannot tell you how WEIRD this appointment was. I am not really complaining. I secretly enjoy awkward and strange encounters. And I really hope the eye lady's day got better. I also hope she is enjoying telling this story to her friends too. Cause letsfaceit! She probably thought I was CURAZEY. Who knows? (do not answer that.)

Thank You for reading blog number 30. I will be taking a day or two off. But will be back soon.